Instant Karma

Dan Shaughnessy used to be my literary idol. But after telling us to root for the Jets on Sunday, he's revealed himself as nothing more than a bandwagon scribe with misplaced allegiances. 

For as long as I can remember, Dan Shaughnessy has been a literary hero of mine. Growing up, I remember waiting for my father to come home from work, kick off his shoes and gently toss the Boston Globe onto the kitchen table. It was always a race between he and I to see who could get their hands on the sports section first. Instead of flipping to the box scores or standings, I always started off by reading Shaughnessy's column. From the beginning, I was attracted to his provocative prose and transparent perspective. He always seemed to sum up exactly what I was thinking about the Red Sox, Patriots, Celtics or Bruins at the time in a way that no other sportswriter could.

When reading Shaughnessy, there was no filter. No fluff. If Pedro Martinez pitched a bad game and refused to talk to the press, he called him out as a "Diva" and never thought twice about it. I remember watching Carl Everett's epic meltdown on umpire Ron Kulpa in the summer of 2000 and then reading Shaughnessy's article the very next day where he famously branded Everett "Jurassic Carl," a nickname that fit the volatile personality to perfection. In my youth, Shaughnessy was the unquestioned authority on Boston sports. He even coined the phrase "The Curse of the Bambino" to describe the Red Sox' 86-year championship drought.

As my days of playing sports transformed into writing about them, Shaughnessy became my biggest influence. During my time as a staff writer for the Vermont Cynic, my school newspaper at the University of Vermont, I attempted to mold my columns in his likeness, masking my personal bias with pop-culture and historical references in an attempt to paint a complete picture of a game or event. I looked up to Shaughnessy. I agreed with him. I wanted to be just like him.

Not anymore.

After waking up Sunday morning, I grabbed the Globe sports section and couldn't believe my eyes; front page, plain view: "Why Patriots fans should be on board with the Jets," by Dan Shaughnessy.

Despite my immediate feelings of amazement and disgust, I promised myself to hold off from passing judgment until I finished the entire article. For all my years as a devoted reader, I owed Shaughnessy this much.

This should be good, I thought to myself.

But then my eyes became engulfed in flames as soon as I began reading. "If you are a Patriots fan still smarting from the shocker last Sunday, you should be rooting for the Jets tonight," Shaughnessy said. The basis of his shortsighted reasoning was that "The better the Jets do, the more the Patriots will be driven to beat them." He goes on to claim that we should root for the Jets because they're "all about fun" and because, after all, "What's not to love about Rex Ryan?"

I nearly choked on my bagel after reading that last line.

He told us that the Jets should receive our backing because they're "homeless" having played in a stadium named after the Giants. And that, if nothing else, we should be bandwagon Jets fans like him solely because we don't want to see the Steelers win again and have to debate who's a better quarterback, Tom Brady or Ben Roethlisberger.

"So, yes, the Jets are my team," Shaughnessy wrote. "I hope they go on to win the Super Bowl in Dallas in two weeks."

Give me a break.

For all the years I defended Shaughnessy, I apologize. I now see why many around Boston as well as the country can't stand him. Of course, he has earned the right to say what he wants, but that doesn't make whatever he says right. How could he possibly write a column telling die-hard Boston sports fans to root for one of our greatest enemies? What's next? Is he going to tell us to root for the Lakers and Canadiens in the playoffs just so the Celtics and Bruins are "motivated" to spend more money on salary next year? Or maybe he'll tell us to root for the Yankees just so John Henry will break out his check-book around the trade deadline.

Sorry, Dan. This is Boston. I hate to break it to you but we don't root for Jets under any circumstance. We hate the Jets. And we sure as hell don't want them to win the Super Bowl. Unlike you, watching Rex Ryan throw his head-set like the whiney, overweight, trash-talking brat that he is after losing 24-19 to the Steelers Sunday night filled us with complete and utter happiness. It was our blissful revenge. Our instant karma. Karma for Rex telling us Tom Brady isn't as good as Peyton Manning. Karma for Braylon Edwards guaranteeing the Jets would beat the Patriots. Karma for Antonio Cromartie using four letter words to describe our franchise quarterback. Karma for the classless Jets taunting us mercilessly after beating our underachieving Pats in Foxboro last week.

And most of all, karma for my once literary idol telling us all to root for our greatest nemesis. I'm sorry your Jets lost, Dan. I know how much you would have loved to see Rex and LT hoist the Lamar Hunt trophy Sunday night. I really feel awful for you having missed out on your dream of two more weeks of Jets trash-talk leading up to the Super Bowl against Green Bay. I'm sure it would have been a lot of "fun." Maybe you should think about leaving the Globe and joining the New York Times, Dan. All those years in the comforting press boxes must have really gone to your head.

Unlike Dan Shaughnessy, real Patriots fans were rooting for the Steelers Sunday night. Sure, we hate Ben Roethlisberger as much as the next guy, but not nearly as much as we hate the J...E...T...S....JETS JETS JETS.